11:35:13
Lunch yesterday with some co-workers was a little odd. It was the first time the three of us had really had any time together since our fourth died nearly a fortnight ago.
It was basically a chance for us to figure out for ourselves how we’re going to manage now that we are just three. Obviously, with myself being the junior, I didn’t get a huge say, but I was glad that they were starting to see me as their equal in some respects.
But it did feel a little like stepping into a dead man’s shoes, divvying up his clients and figuring out who would be best placed to maintain those contacts. I know that we have to move on, but it still felt more than a little odd.
And particularly for me, given the frequency that the words “opportunity” and “chance” came up in conversation with regards to my prospects. It is an opportunity for me, no doubt about it, but when you hear it spelt out so bluntly it still comes as a bit of a shock. Like I’m dancing on his grave or something.
I guess this is all part of the healing process. We’re not going to forget him, but life genuinely does go on, in the bigger theatre of things. I find myself thinking that having this opportunity to improve/expand, and wanting to take it, is a little callous, but then convincing myself that it isn’t; it’s just the way things have turned out.