My house is becoming for me more and more just a place to sleep. I’ve barely spent any time here in the last fortnight, and I can’t even remember the last time I cooked anything here.
I’m starting to genuinely dislike being here. I truly miss my old flat, which was perfect, and I guess I resent my housemate a little for being the one to force me to move out of it. I still live with him now (and another guy), but it was definitely the case that the whole moving thing was for his benefit, not mine.
It annoys me that all of the walls are paper-thin, that the windows rattle and that the house gets freezing cold instantly. Even though my rent is £30 per month cheaper, I know that it’s going to work out much more expensive than the old place because of the extra bills.
And to save £30, I’ve had to take a tiny room. If I’d wanted a room of the same size as my old one, and still with en suite, it’d have cost me nearly £100 more in this house as my old flat.
And what do we get for this extra money? A little tiny garden which doesn’t even get much sunlight, a longer walk to the train station in the morning, and a much greater distance to the centre of London. For me, it feels like I might as well be living outside of the M25 for all the good living here does for me.
Even though we moved in 2 months ago, I’ve yet to unpack everything in my room. I can barely see the point, even though I have suitcases and piles of junk taking up the tiny bit of floor space that I actually possess. It just doesn’t feel like a home to me at all. It’s like I’m back in a student house, with people constantly coming and going, and no stability of sorts.
It annoys me that I have to share a bathroom. That the kitchen is constantly untidy and messy. That the living room is always a mess. That we don’t have a tumble-dryer, so there are clothes around everywhere. That we have a bloody cleaning rota, for fucks sake.
That I’m out of the house in the morning before the other two are out of bed, and get home later than them in the evening after work, but am still left to take care of things like the phone and internet connections.
I guess I’m just not that happy here.
