-
Cartman:
Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
-
Mr Garrison:
Eric, did you just say the F-word?
-
Cartman:
Jew?
-
Kyle:
No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!
-
Mr Garrison:
Kyle!
-
Cartman:
Why the fuck not?
-
Mr Garrison:
Eric!
-
Stan:
Dude, you just said "fuck" again!
-
Mr Garrison:
Stanley!
-
Kenny:
Fuck!
-
Mr Garrison:
Kenny!
-
Cartman:
What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck.
-
Mr Garrison:
How would you like to go see the school counselor?
-
Cartman:
How would you like to suck my balls?
-
Mr Garrison:
What did you say?
-
Cartman:
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was... [picks up a megaphone]
-
Cartman:
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?
-
Stan:
Holy shit, dude.
-
Me:
[describing my stupidly long journey in this morning to the girlfriend]
-
Me:
Got to Putney no probs, bus was fine
-
Me:
but trains were cancelled left right and centre
-
Me:
platform was heaving, couldn't get on first 2 trains
-
Me:
then they said next train wasn't for another 20mins, so I gave up
-
Me:
took me another 15-20mins to get OUT of the station
-
Me:
stairs were rammed, gates were rammed, foyer bit was rammed
-
Me:
tube was no probs at all, really
-
Me:
[The annoying thing is, I checked the website for Southwest Trains, and they weren't reporting too many problems. Whereas the Tube was severe delays. I turned up to the station and it was chaos.]
-
The Girlfriend:
Pouring Tabasco into my tomato soup with no spoon to stir it was not a brilliant idea
-
Me:
How were you planning to eat the soup without a spoon?
-
The Girlfriend:
I'm drinking it
-
The girlfriend:
I have just been enthusing about my snuggie to the office
-
The girlfriend:
[Co-worker] is doing an ideal Christmas list and someone brought it up
-
The girlfriend:
I think I am the only person who actually owns one
-
Me:
You love your snuggie
-
The girlfriend:
Yes
-
The girlfriend:
Although I told everyone you would not let me wear it in public
-
The girlfriend:
Which they seemed to think was fully justified
-
The Girlfriend:
And I still don't fully understand the EU saga
-
The Girlfriend:
It is as boring as anything!
-
Me:
you take that back!
-
Me:
EU is great, I'm a big fan and v into the subject
-
Me:
oh my god I sound fucking old and boring
-
The girlfriend:
Isn't that the one we have?
-
Me:
Erm, nope. You can tell because ours says 'Toshiba' on it...
-
Me:
sexy iphone
-
reallykatie:
slide to unlock
-
The Girlfriend:
are you going to be boozing all night then?
-
Me:
nah, going for literally three at most
-
Me:
back home by 9
-
Me:
(i'm not going to kid myself and say "just going for one")
-
Me:
Kickass, England game's on ITV tonight
-
The Girlfriend:
Does that mean we are going to be watching football?
-
Me:
Well, it means I'll be watching football
-
Me:
You may amuse yourself
