Rob, Rambling - A lot of things interest me...

Deals not the be missed!!!!!
Sorry, random marketing email, the illiteracy in your headline precludes me from reading any further…

The advantage of ordering some clothes and underwear for the girlfriend at Christmas is that I now get emails from Bravissimo telling me that now is the time to “Spring Clean Your Lingerie Drawer!”.

Don’t mind if I do…

Oh, and I even get my own copy of their catalogue of lovely large-chested ladies modelling lovely lingerie delivered to the house. Win!

I hope that this is just one show, because it would be the best show ever!

I hope that this is just one show, because it would be the best show ever!

There’s some scaremongering going round on the office emails this morning, courtesy of this story on the BBC News website, detailing a new directory of mobile phone numbers.

The email going round says that “Early next week all UK mobiles will be on a directory which will mean that anyone will be able to access the numbers”, and links to the story above. It also states that you can opt out of the service, but you must do it before the end of the week to be certain that you’re ex-directory.

Now, the important thing here is that the story is linked to. But the thing is, no-one has read the bloody thing!

The story quite explicitly states that the directory only has 15 million numbers, out of 40 million adults who have mobile phones. And some of them (including me) have two mobiles, so I would conservatively put the number at 60 million+, especially when the mobiles of under-18s are considered.

So “all” is quite the scaremongering word, and is in fact false. But then that doesn’t make for quite as good a circular email, does it?

And the opt-out service is ongoing. There’s no deadline, no case of you being in the directory permanently if you don’t opt out today. Hell, the website is offline today anyway, no doubt as a result of this kind of scaremongering.

And it costs £1 to look up a single number, so to say that you’re going to be swamped by “cold calling and the general abuse that less scrupulous telesales people subject us to” is another falsehood.

It amazes me that no-one bothers to fact-check this kind of thing. The link to the relevant facts is genuinely in the middle of the damn email, yet people still forward it to friends and family. Likewise with anything about swine flu, and for us Londoners regarding the G8 protests: it’s all scaremongering, to create some FUD.

Sigh.

P.S. I like the word “scaremongering”.

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” Brits have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
From an email doing the rounds at work this morning. There’s a whole load more about various other countries’ responses, but they’re not as amusing as the British bit. Oh, how we laugh at ourselves.

One of these days, I just know that I’m going to send an email to a client with the words “Best retards” at the bottom.

It’s inevitable.

As mentioned we only have 3 tables left at this event and would be delighted to give tickets to you and your colleagues for just £125.00 plus VAT per person as a pose to our RRP which is £250.00 plus VAT

It’s been a while since I last posted a bad grammar marketing email. This gem came in earlier today.

“As a pose to”?!?!?! Really?! Good grief.

Hello Rob, thank you for your comments.

The sum total of the response by the journalist in question (Jonathan Prynn) to my email of last night.

Ah well, at least he read it. Probably.

We will not be picking up fax’s from any other number.

(N.B This does not effect your statutory or contractual rights)

Yet more terribly spelt and spellchecked promotional emails sent to my work address.
We never sell address’s
In a continued effort to name and shame companies that have awful typos/misspellings and therefore just look unprofessional, this is the latest offering. Stand up, DSDM Consortium’s unsubscribe page

About

Londoner, thinking and writing far too much about far too many random things. Wannabe photo-/videographer of my life. More likely to be found propping up a bar somewhere.

I also write about football.

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