The new receptionist at my gym had on a top so low that I swear I saw underboob.
Today's joke from my office
- Small boy: Mummy, why am I black when you're white?
- Mum: Don't even start. From what I remember of that party, you're lucky you don't bark...
Now that Valentine's Day is out of the way, it's time to look forward to Steak & BJ Day (March 14th)
Seeing as we put so much effort into making you happy on Valentine’s Day, it’s only fair that there should be a corresponding day for the men of this world. Thankfully, men are a hell of a lot easier to please. As Urban Dictionary points out: First: FOOD! Not any of that new-age healthy co-op market crap, either. Just give us a big hunk of cow. Preferably still bleeding. The napkin will be unnecessary, thanks, that’s what the backs of our arms are for. I think the second part does not require any further explanation Note: I really do eat my steaks bloody as hell. It’s the only way.
The Tube was absolutely rammed on the way home tonight, thanks to British public transport’s complete and utter inability to cope with anything more than a mild day with a couple of clouds in the sky. Seriously, 6 inches of snow and it’s pretty much the apocalypse here. Likewise, a hot summer’s day with temperatures above 30 degrees is equally beyond the capabilities of public transport here.
The Tube was so busy that you couldn’t help but be right in each other’s faces, or buried into an armpit, or leaning over someone. If one person had leant to the left, then we all would’ve leant that way. It was that packed.
So packed, in fact, that you get to the point of your crotch being in very close proximity to a pretty lady’s behind. Like touching material. That close.
I thus found myself in the carriage, doing the Austin Powers thing in my head: “think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts”.
I mean, can you imagine?
EDIT: The girlfriend has just told me that this actually happened to her once. But the guy was facing her, and making absolutely no attempt to disguise the fact that he was looking straight down her cleavage. She says she considered kicking him in the balls.
Ha!
With her vintage frocks, silky red bun and frankly stupendous breasts, she exudes class and old Hollywood glamour.
London’s Evening Standard newspaper, describing Christina Hendricks in an article about how curves are back.
I have to say that I’m absolutely infatuated with Christina Hendricks, ever since I saw her in that green dress at last year’s Emmys (or whichever awards show it was). I didn’t watch Mad Men at the time, but I do now and love the show. Hendrick’s character is relatively minor, but it’s always good to have a bit of eye-candy…
As much as I find women like Marisa Miller and the like stunning, I’m a boobs guy and appreciate the more Ruben-esque (that’s such a cop-out phrase, btw) women. There’s a limit, obviously, but women like Hendricks, Kate Winslet, Penelope Cruz and Holly Willoughby just scream sex.
The latest club craze is to fill a woman’s vagina with vodka and then suck it out using a straw. Doctors are warning about the dangers of minge drinking.
Joke going round my office email at the moment. Heh.
The Sun’s Dear Deidre column is always hilarious. The girl(s) in it is inevitably in a tiny skirt or state of undress, and the dialogue is just plain dumb.
The pictures are always funny too. The newspaper is either not allowed or chooses not to show any nipples or worse, so the ladies are usually in some sort of awkward pose to cover themselves up. That, and any depiction of sex is with underwear fully on for both people.
I would love to be employed to write the scripts for these columns. It’s the same old stuff, repeated time and again. And yet each storyline somehow lasts 5-6 days each time.
God bless the British newspaper industry.
I don’t care that it made me late for work: morning sex is fucking awesome.
I saw this poster in a pub’s toilets over the weekend. And I really should stop taking photos in pub toilets; there’s probably some deep-rooted psychological trauma involved that I’m covering up.
The advert itself is for some kind of self-help clinic or presentation thing, aimed at men for once. “Ways to get her to say yes” is the tagline.
But, funnily enough, that’s not what caught my eye on the advert. I think the only word to describe the girl pictured is “buoyant”.
Seriously, those boobs are threatening to choke her. I don’t know whether it’s photoshop or a big ol’ boob job, but they are beyond perky. Deep-sea diving would not be this girl’s forte, I’d imagine.
Probably the greatest Gumtree ad ever
Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? […] When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like “OH GOD”, “YES”, OR “IT HURTS” no other conversation is allowed. The internet is so disturbing in so many ways. Super Mario Bros has just been Rule 34’d.
