The other day, I found out via my mum that my little sister has a boyfriend that she’s been seeing for a few months. I say “little” sister, but she’s 20, at university in her final year and living her own life.
The thing that struck me is that her boyfriend is 31, an 11-year age gap between the two of them. I never would have put my sister down as going for that sort of thing.
Maybe it’s because I still view her as a young girl. When I left home, I was 18 and she was barely 14. We’d only been at the same school for a couple of years, and weren’t particularly close. Still aren’t, to be honest.
At that age, a 4-year age gap is massive. We had nothing in common, and did completely different things with our lives. Nowadays, it’s not so much of a deal, and we’ve had similar experiences, what with finishing school, university, and so forth. In five years time, in our late twenties, the age gap won’t be noticeable.
For now, though, we’re still not the closest of siblings. I very rarely went back to my parents’ house while I was at uni, and even then I’d be really busy during my brief visits, without much time for my sister. I had my own group of friends to see, as it wasn’t particularly frequently that we’d all be in the same place, scattered across the country at various universities as we’d usually be.
Now, she’s studying over the other side of the country, with our hometown and parents pretty much exactly halfway between us. I’m back there even less often now that I’m working and have a life here in London, and when I do grab a weekend there my sister is usually still at uni.
So we just don’t see each other. It’s been more than 6 years since we lived together, and in the meantime we’ve basically fallen out of contact. I’m terrible on the phone, and always forget to email or text people (not just her; other friends too), so pretty much don’t bother. Hell, the only time we really speak to each other is to organise birthday/Christmas presents for our parents.
Hence why I found out about her new boyfriend through our mum, not from her directly. I don’t know whether it bothers me particularly, especially as the girlfriend pointed out to me last night that when she was 20 she had a 27-year-old guy.
Looking back at various girls/women I know, a lot of them went through a stage from about 16-22 of dating men a decade or so older than them, before finding someone about their own age by their mid-20s. So, just a phase? Who knows.
I’m going to try to speak to my sister at some point this weekend, hear all about it. I’m really happy for her, as (to my knowledge) this is her first serious boyfriend. I don’t kid myself that she’s still a young, wide-eyed innocent girl, but at the same time she is my little sister, something that won’t ever change.
